12:19am
haven’t vented in a long one so here it goes. so its 12:20am and my ass is still up. i guess you can say this is pretty early since lately i’ve been going to bed at 2 or 3am. no sleep = college problems. anyways i’ve become hella busy lately and my emotions are all fucked up. since its been way to long since i’ve gotten involved in school, im having a really hard time making adjustments “i just need to find a balance” is something i’ve been having to tell my self a lot lately because realshit i do. im having a harder time in school and im feeling hella discouraged =[ im not on top of my a game like i normally am and i feel really behind. I CANNOT LET MYSELF FAIL. in reality i may just be overreacting and freaking out when i dont have too but my emotions take over and i cant help what i feel. i really hope this feeling goes away and im not as stressed out. i mean i’ve juggled a million things before why cant i do it again? As for relationships i feel like im not as good a girlfriend as i should be. babe’s leaving in 20 days or so for BOOT CAMP and since i’ve been so busy and caught up with school & extracurriculars i feel like i’ve been neglecting him and honestly now is not the time i should be. time’s taken for granted and im realizing it more then ever now. im so lucky to have someone as supportive as him. he says im amazing and the best however right now i feel like im not doing enough on my part and i dont deserve any praise he gives me.
ugh my emotions are hella fucked up right now and i really dont know what to feel anymore! asfkdhjFML=[=[=[ i really do hope things get better and i get my shit together. i mean it has to get worse before it gets better right? end 12:41am
